Monday, May 28, 2012

I Will Never Say Yes if You Ask Me Out by Text Message

Image credit: Samantha Decker- Flickr
Last week someone asked me out via text message at 2:45 in the morning. Actually I have been asked out by text message several times in the past year. I posted a rant (or three) about it on Facebook. Lots of girls agreed with me, but some of my guy friends seemed to be confused as to what the problem is. So Imma let you in on the secret. Consider it a PSA about why I WILL NEVER SAY YES IF YOU ASK ME OUT BY TEXT MESSAGE.

I don't want you to show up in a limo. You don't have to put on a tux or bring roses. Please don't stand under my window with a boom box, that's totally been done. But DO  act like you care enough about going out with me to put some sort of thought into it.

We are independent women of the 21st century. We have careers. We save for retirement. We fix the toilet if need be and kill the spiders ourselves. But we still have a soft spot for romance. We grew up with Disney Princesses and The Princess Bride and maybe a princess playhouse. When our parents made us do chores we pretended to be Cinderella waiting for her prince charming to come. And you can bet he didn't send a text asking if Cinderella wanted to do something sometime.

Guys, I know this seems complicated. So here's what you need to know: If she gave you her number, that means she's interested*. Man up and call her. When you do ask her out, have a plan- know what you want to do and when. This makes it seem like you put some thought into the whole thing. (If you want some extra points, think of two possible activities and let her pick.) Show up on time.  Send a text message only to confirm plans or let her know if you're running more than 5 minutes late.

That's it. It's that easy. We just want you to act like going out with us is somewhat important to you. No pumpkin coach required.

So long for now, keep it simple stupid, and for Pete's sake, pick up the stupid phone.

*If she didn't give you her number, don't try to obtain it from someone else. This is only acceptable if you're under the age of 15. Maybe not even then.


  1. Amen to your asterisk!

  2. Hey...thought of something a/b this in his defense (if worth it) n'bor is with Sprint and sometimes text messages he sends out during the day don't come in till midnight or later. Could be a possibility. Happens all the time with him and his wife.
    Becky (your cousin)

  3. But still doesn't excuse the rudeness of texting. Poo


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