Thursday, July 21, 2011

My Weird Addiction

Jane's Melissa's Addiction

I wish I had an interesting addiction. Something they make 12-step programs for, like online poker, or feet. At least you can get some good reality TV out of those.

Sadly, my addiction comes straight out of a sitcom. Not an edgy, award-winning sitcom where the dad turns out to be a serial killer or a polygamist, but one where there is coordinated Ethan Allen furniture and a laugh track.

I, Melissa Clutterella, am addicted to buying floor cleaning devices.

The problem is that I hate mopping, sweeping, scrubbing, and any other "ing" that is required to get the dirt off the floor. What happens is that I am just hanging out, watching TV, when some lady with perfect teeth and pressed khakis comes on and tells me that her device will solve all of the floor hygiene problems in my entire house, and also bring about world peace.

Seriously, I have a problem...
You are probably thinking, "Wow, you must have the cleanest floors ever. Like you could eat off of them and walk around in white socks on them."

Sadly, no. It doesn't matter how many gadgets I buy. The ultimate problem is that I can't purchase the desire to put my fun plans on hold for an hour and clean the floors. So the devices all accumulate in the closets. And the floors stay dirty.

I really haven't come up with a solution to the problem. All I can do is try to keep my floor cleaner buying more or less under control. I just keep hoping that I will one day find the perfect one and then I will never have to buy another vacuum, mop, scrubber, or doohickey again.

On a separate note, my bedroom closet is once again infested with monsters.

Leo prowling for monsters

Those suckers have got to go. Soon. Until then, maybe you can tell me about some of your weird addictions so I don't feel so lame?

So long and KISS (keep it simple stupid).

PS: I almost forgot to tell you about my new favorite blog, Flourish in Progress. This chick might be my Korean-American soul sister who says fuck a lot.

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